Maybe I DO Suck

One of my latest status updates on Facebook read:

Finally becoming a grown up: This woman came up to me after class to basically tell me I suck and I shrugged my shoulders and said, Oh well!

I got an outpouring of supportive responses from my female friends reminding me how cool I am and how I “don’t suck” in their eyes.  Those who have taken my dance fitness classes told me how much they like my teaching style, choice of music, flow etc.  And still, I suck.

Don’t get me wrong, I was grateful when others came to my rescue to tell me I rock.  But what was more significant (and new for me) was that I was really willing to be with the fact that maybe I do suck. There is a subtle difference in the way I am with this truth:  the truth that I suck and I rock, and neither matter very much.

As a couple of friends put it:

“Good for you! As a teacher I’ve learned to take the diss and the compliment with a grain of salt.  Students are rarely neutral…  “

“It’s great that you can accept not being everyone’s cup of tea. Hooray.”

I am not the best instructor out there and not everyone appreciates my style and that’s not the point.  The secret is that I have fun doing it; that I would do it for free; that I love the music and fulfilled in the choices I make.  There is real power in being able to stand in the “I like me” and “You don’t like me” and have both be true.

Alas, I am practiced enough to be comfortable with who I am.  I am not the best– I teach the type of class I’d want to attend.  What an opportunity:  to remain true to what I love, do it for me, know that I both suck and rock and that this has little consequence on my truth.

I wish I was as confident in other areas of my life as I am with dance.  Click to read Dancing Through Life.