A warrior knows when to make an effort and move forward and when to let go of [her] conquering spirit. ~ Jason Shulman Your task: Reflect on your self care practice. Where are the places you should move forward? What can you relax into or loosen? Activate your warrior spirit to discern the difference. Thank … More Self Care Warriors Day 30
Maybe you’ve noticed that, once you make the space for it, self care feels good (usually). The hard part is getting to the mat, the dance floor, the journal, the meditation pillow… Once we’re finally in that space many of us ask ourselves: Why don’t I do this more often? Your task: In your journal, … More Self Care Warriors Day 29
Where is that dress you’ve been saving for a special occasion? Or those earrings you like but you only wear when you go out? Has it been a while since you wore red lipstick or worn your hair in that cute style? This is not the time to be humble or austere. When was the … More Self Care Warriors Day 28
Part of self-care is being in touch with our own particular needs and desires. This involves both self-awareness and self-acceptance. It involves embracing how you are different. No easy task, I know. In what ways are you different? How do you embrace your uniqueness? Your task: Set a timer for about 10 minutes. Without censoring … More Self Care Warriors Day 27
What do you most deeply desire? What does your soul long for? Perhaps it’s peace or stability. Perhaps it’s connection or more fun. What do you want? Your task: Sense your desire. Let go of judgements or obligations and name what it is you really want. Imagine having it. Notice what it brings up for … More Self Care Warriors Day 26
The point of doing a challenge like this is to remind ourselves that we deserve nourishing and cherishing. The wise part of you knows self care is a need, not an indulgent whim. What if you treated yourself as the precious being you are?
The symbol and metaphor of a nurturing mother may help us along on our self care journeys. I often advise clients who are mothers to treat themselves with the same tender loving they would show their children. Whether you have had healthy mothering modeled for you or not, strike up the image of an ideal mother … More Self Care Warriors Day 24
Sometimes self care includes allowing ourselves to do something we judge as indulgent. When was the last time you allowed yourself the freedom to indulge?
Anger, envy, despair, fear, rage, defensiveness, hate, pettiness, grief, resentment. So much a part of life, yet so often difficult to embrace. Your task: Negative feelings are important signals that can lead us to further honesty, freedom and aliveness. Notice when your shadow shows up. Just notice without pushing away. Step it up: Be honest … More Self Care Warriors Day 22
We give all the time. Perhaps out of obligation. Perhaps out of guilt. Perhaps to feel needed. What would it be like to give without expectations? To give without conditions? To give just for the sake of generosity and kindness? Your Task: Do something kind for another. Wait an extra minute to hold the door … More Self Care Warriors Day 21
A painting, a piece of music, literature, architecture. Art reminds us of the beauty and goodness in the world. It reflects our human yearning and potential to create. How does spending time with art shift your perspective? What are you inspired to create?
Women often overextend ourselves by saying yes way too often. Yes, I’ll help out with that. Yes, I’ll commit to this. Yes, I’ll bend to accommodate whatever it is… We push ourselves (and are expected to be) flexible, helpful and compliant. And on occasions when we are not, we are sometimes punished for it. What healthy boundaries … More Self Care Warriors Day 19
The foundation of life is relationships. We absolutely need each other to stay alive and thrive. Of course, not all relationships are supportive, reciprocal or based on loving kindness. All the more essential that we cherish the relationships that are… What makes certain relationships so nourishing? What do you appreciate about your friends?
Music and movement are nurturing to both our bodies and spirits. A good song can transport us to another place and time. Music evokes emotions, memories, dreams, desires… What is your favorite song? How does your body want to move when you hear it?
What are your needs for connection, community, friendship, support? Recall times when you’ve felt seen, understood, acknowledged. Think about the occasions you provide that for others.
We are halfway through! Check in with yourself. What have you noticed? What are you needing? Celebrate what has gone well. Be gentle, forgiving and kind in places where you’ve struggled. What’s your experience of your inner landscape? What yearnings, desires and longings are wanting expression?
Overwhelm and stress have likely prompted you to participate in this self care challenge. Ironically, the way we deal with stress can exacerbate our problems. We tune out instead of tuning in. Overeating, drinking alcohol, or overindulging in media (cable news, Facebook, Instagram, reality TV.) You get the picture…
Two of our human needs are creativity and fun. When was the last time you did something creative just for the fun of it? Some of us are creative in our jobs or are creative problem solvers. Do you let yourself be creative without an agenda or goal? Your task: Spend 10 minutes in free … More Self Care Warriors Day 13
Our vitality and sense inner peace is directly related to our ability to tell the truth. This doesn’t only mean being honest with others. It starts with being honest with ourselves. It starts with the courage to admit a reality we resist or fear. What truth is waiting to be expressed?
Who are you? Are there parts of you that you keep safely tucked away so no one can see or judge? Part of the warrior journey is claiming more of ourselves so that we can live a more authentic and engaged life. How have you explored and honored different parts of yourself? What risks are … More Self Care Warriors Day 11
Life can be hard. People are struggling, suffering, and in pain. Still, there is joy and beauty in the world. Still, we experience love, kindness, and compassion. Still, you have gifts to be shared, enjoyed, and celebrated. For what are you most grateful in your life?
Overwhelm. Stress. Fatigue. We all know it. We all feel it. Sometimes the best cure, sometimes the only cure is to rest. Your task: Rest. Notice opportunities to do nothing. Notice the moments you could do less. Unplug. Take a nap. Go to bed early. Rest.
None of us is entirely self-sufficient. Yet, we often act as if we do not depend on each other to survive and thrive. Sometimes we prefer the relative safety of remaining isolated. Other times we risk to reach out for the support that we are needing. What stops you from asking for the help or … More Self Care Warriors Day 8
How easy is it for you to receive a compliment or praise? Many of us, in an attempt to be humble, brush it off when someone says something positive about us. We are self effacing and often skip over opportunities to receive acknowledgement of our beauty, wisdom, creativity, generosity, intelligence, style, or skills. What’s beautiful … More Self Care Warriors Day 7
This exercise is borrowed from my friend, Sharon Rosen, over at the Heart of Self Care. Nourishment is a very basic physical need. In our busy lives we often eat on the run. How often do you fully experience every nuance of what you are eating as you are eating it? Your task: While you can … More Self Care Warriors Day 6
Time to shake things up. Fully engage by being more present in your body. Walk, run, dance, stretch, bounce, cycle, row… What is your favorite form of physical exercise? Your task: Spend at least 30 minutes engaged in rigorous physical movement. Do whatever helps you feel more present and alive in your body.
We sometimes become so busy attending to daily responsibilities and others’ needs that we neglect our own need for stillness. How do you honor your need for quiet? Will you commit to carving out more time for blank space? Your task: Spend 5- 10 minutes in silence. Sit in a place free of distractions. In … More Self Care Warriors Day 4
When we stop paying attention, we all do now and again, debris tends to build up. What are you needing to clear out, clean up, or get rid of? Your task: Decide what needs cleaning up in your life. This could be the clearing of clutter on your desk. It could be getting to the … More Self Care Warriors Day 3
One of the best and easiest ways to tend to your body is water. Drinking water and staying hydrated will help flush your system of toxins and impurities. What does water represent for you?
Welcome sister, You are asked to start at the very beginning. Before we plant new seeds. Before we tend to new growth. We prepare the ground. water, nourishment, movement, rest Your tasks:
Dear Loves, So many of us are deeply troubled and frightened by our current political climate. Manifestations of our lower selves are not only more visible, but condoned, even celebrated. I also find myself curious about what would it be like to suffer an even more limited human existence than the one I inhabit. One where … More Dear Loves
** Get email updates of posts by signing up. Look to the column on the right (desktop) or at the very bottom of the page (mobile) and enter your email in the box. Welcome! Since 2012 women have been gathering here in a community of encouragement and support to (re)commit to self care. This is the 5th Self … More Self Care Warriors 2017
My love is too big. Maybe I should apportion Currents, waves, tides.
Sometimes it’s too much The world overwrought with pain. And then there is love.
Crafted at Writing Woman: An Embodied Creative Writing and Ritual Experience led by poet & wise woman Elana Bell. This piece was inspired by Lucille Clifton. Image by Antonio Paramo My body’s fulcrum. Full breasts above. Strong hips below. This belly. Plump, abundant, fleshy. It sometimes shrinks. It mostly grows. Rounded mounds. Soft, pliable. It contains the … More Homage to My Belly, a poem
by eloiza jorge I’m fine alone She says, wanting to convince herself. She’s right. She has survived. Clawed, climbed, clambered out of depths of anguish Cobbling, crafting, reconstructing a life. Finding firm ground underneath Broken open enough for wisdom to take root For a sturdy backbone to get built. Yet it’s sweeter, gentler, kinder In … More Corazón, a poem
Shit happens, sometimes a lot of bad things can happen in a row. Sometimes life is overwhelming, heartbreaking, sad. Suffering. I’ve had my share. Break ups. Depression. Obstacles. Conflicts. Betrayal. Defeat. We are all bound to encounter it. It is part of the human condition. This is not the problem. Drama … More Radical Advice: Diminishing Drama
You’re competent. You’re responsible. You’re sensible. You have it together. People rely on you. You mostly complete tasks. You’re mostly on time. You mostly do what you say you’re gonna do. Yet somehow life is not fully satisfying. You’re not deeply rewarded for your goodness. Even when you’re praised for being kick-ass, it doesn’t feel quite … More Radical Advice for Competent, Responsible, Sensible Women
Tell her you adore her. Tell her she’s your best thing. Kiss, hug and snuggle often. Try to remember your grief does not trump hers. Ask her why she’s hurting. Tell her you’re sad too. Say, I know my dear it must hurt, instead of life is unfair. When she tells you someone at school … More Radical Advice for Mothers of Fiery Daughters
backbones get built vertebrae by vertebrae with every victory with every heartache with every triumph with every shattering with each awakening they become sturdy bearing the weight of new consciousness embodying self-love strengthened, emboldened
When it’s time to discuss difficult and sensitive topics with my 9 year old son and 7 year old daughter my first response is normally to tell the truth. This often means I keep it vague and abstract, but I’m sure not to lie. Kids know about unfairness. Kids know about meanness. Kids know about … More Teaching Kids About Injustice & Police Brutality
The new Disney version of the Cinderella fable departs from other popular versions in that it focuses on Cinderella’s capacity for courage and kindness. This is especially poignant in the midst of the envy and cruelty of her stepmother and sisters. While I’m generally critical of sanitized versions of myths that tend to send the … More Radical Advice: Own Your Envy
My name is Eloiza. I’m an educator, a coach, a spiritual seeker and mother of two. I work with women and their longing– a longing for more aliveness, profound meaning, and deeper satisfaction. This site includes the many articles I’ve written over the past five+ years and free resources for you to enjoy, including the … More Welcome
I don’t want to play the record Perch behind the lens Hold the pen. I want to be the song
I’m in therapy. And I’m an integrative coach. I believe in the power of coaching and am even sometimes cavalier enough to say its methods are superior. And therapy is where I’m at right now. I’m asked all the time what’s the difference between coaching and therapy? So I sought a great therapist to find … More Why I’m in Therapy (the difference between therapy & coaching)
Recently a dear friend found out that the person who she was in a relationship with was lying to her– for o v e r a y e a r. If you have been in a similar situation (as I have) you can imagine how “fuck you” might be an appropriate response…
I had always imagined healing would be this ethereal experience. The sun shining, a community of support, basking in a feeling of wholeness… That is until I really dedicated myself to a healing path. I then came to understand the often lonely, painful, and dark path healing sometimes requires.