Shit happens, sometimes a lot of bad things can happen in a row. Sometimes life is overwhelming, heartbreaking, sad. Suffering. I’ve had my share. Break ups. Depression. Obstacles. Conflicts. Betrayal. Defeat. We are all bound to encounter it. It is part of the human condition. This is not the problem. Drama… More Radical Advice: Diminishing Drama
Since 2011 women have virtually gathered here at different times of the year to support each other in (re)committing to a self-care practice. This time around we’re doing it in the fall. For many, autumn marks a new start. There’s a feeling of renewal. A time to assess goals. An opportunity to engage with our… More Need to Reboot? Join this year’s Self Care Challenge
First things first, I mostly conform to conventional mores. And I teach my own kids to be good and obedient. A measure of compliance is, of course, beneficial and valuable. As women we’ve likely been trained to be easy to get along with and nice. This may help us feel safe– predictable, and controlled. Many… More Radical Advice: Being Good Doesn’t Inoculate You From Sh*t
You’re competent. You’re responsible. You’re sensible. You have it together. People rely on you. You mostly complete tasks. You’re mostly on time. You mostly do what you say you’re gonna do. Yet somehow life is not fully satisfying. You’re not deeply rewarded for your goodness. Even when you’re praised for being kick-ass, it doesn’t feel quite… More Radical Advice for Competent, Responsible, Sensible Women
Tell her you adore her. Tell her she’s your best thing. Kiss, hug and snuggle often. Try to remember your grief does not trump hers. Ask her why she’s hurting. Tell her you’re sad too. Say, I know my dear it must hurt, instead of life is unfair. When she tells you someone at school… More Radical Advice for Mothers of Fiery Daughters
When it’s time to discuss difficult and sensitive topics with my 9 year old son and 7 year old daughter my first response is normally to tell the truth. This often means I keep it vague and abstract, but I’m sure not to lie. Kids know about unfairness. Kids know about meanness. Kids know about… More Teaching Kids About Injustice & Police Brutality
The new Disney version of the Cinderella fable departs from other popular versions in that it focuses on Cinderella’s capacity for courage and kindness. This is especially poignant in the midst of the envy and cruelty of her stepmother and sisters. While I’m generally critical of sanitized versions of myths that tend to send the… More Cinderella and Her Hateful Sisters: learning from envy
My name is Eloiza. I’m an educator, a coach, a spiritual seeker and mother of two. I work with women and their longing– a longing for more aliveness, profound meaning, and deeper satisfaction. This site includes the many articles I’ve written over the past five+ years and free resources for you to enjoy, including the… More Welcome
Many of us spend a lot of time and energy trying to be happy. And I’m here to tell you we’re getting it wrong. This is partly because we are making the wrong assumptions. Instead of asking How can I be happy?, we should be asking other questions: What does it mean to me to… More Radical Advice: Stop Caring About Being Happy
You are Art. Face Limbs Hands Feet Torso Heart. Art in physical form.
I don’t want to play the record Perch behind the lens Hold the pen. I want to be the song
I’m in therapy. And I’m an integrative coach. I believe in the power of coaching and am even sometimes cavalier enough to say its methods are superior. And therapy is where I’m at right now. I’m asked all the time what’s the difference between coaching and therapy? So I sought a great therapist to find… More Why I’m in Therapy (the difference between therapy & coaching)
Recently a dear friend found out that the person who she was in a relationship with was lying to her– for o v e r a y e a r. If you have been in a similar situation (as I have) you can imagine how “fuck you” might be an appropriate response…
I had always imagined healing would be this ethereal experience. The sun shining, a community of support, basking in a feeling of wholeness… That is until I really dedicated myself to a healing path. I then came to understand the often lonely, painful, and dark path healing sometimes requires.
I wish I was as confident and at peace in other areas of my life as I am with my hobby of teaching dance. I am still practicing… In fact, in working with my own coach, Mary Mulliken, we have used dance as a metaphor for how I want to be in my “real career”… More Dancing Through Life
One of my latest status updates on Facebook read: Finally becoming a grown up: This woman came up to me after class to basically tell me I suck and I shrugged my shoulders and said, Oh well! I got an outpouring of supportive responses from my female friends reminding me how cool I am and… More Maybe I DO Suck
A warrior knows when to make an effort and move forward and when to let go of [her] conquering spirit. ~ Jason Shulman Your task: Reflect on your self care practice. Where are the places you should move forward? What can you relax into or loosen? Activate your warrior spirit to discern the difference. Thank… More Day 40~ Warrior
October 30, 2015 Where is that dress you’ve been saving for a special occasion? Or those earrings you like but you only wear when you go out? Has it been a while since you wore red lipstick or worn your hair in that cute style? This is not the time to be humble or austere.… More Day 39~ Shimmer
October 29, 2015 Maybe you’ve noticed that, once you make the space for it, self care feels good (usually). The hard part is getting to the mat, the dance floor, the journal, the meditation pillow… Once we’re finally in that space many of us ask ourselves: Why don’t I do this more often? Your task: … More Day 38~ Aliveness
October 28, 2015 Overwhelm. Stress. Fatigue. We all know it. We all feel it. Sometimes the best cure, sometimes the only cure is to rest. Your task: Rest. Notice opportunities to do nothing. Notice the moments you could do less. Unplug. Take a nap. Go to bed early. Rest.