One of my latest status updates on Facebook read:
Finally becoming a grown up: This woman came up to me after class to basically tell me I suck and I shrugged my shoulders and said, Oh well!
I got an outpouring of supportive responses from my female friends reminding me how cool I am and how I “don’t suck” in their eyes. Those who have taken my dance fitness classes told me how much they like my teaching style, choice of music, flow etc. And still, I suck.
Don’t get me wrong, I was grateful when others came to my rescue to tell me I rock. But what was more significant (and new for me) was that I was really willing to be with the fact that maybe I do suck. There is a subtle difference in the way I am with this truth: the truth that I suck and I rock, and neither matter very much.
As a couple of friends put it:
“Good for you! As a teacher I’ve learned to take the diss and the compliment with a grain of salt. Students are rarely neutral… ”
“It’s great that you can accept not being everyone’s cup of tea. Hooray.”
I am not the best instructor out there and not everyone appreciates my style and that’s not the point. The secret is that I have fun doing it; that I would do it for free; that I love the music and fulfilled in the choices I make. There is real power in being able to stand in the “I like me” and “You don’t like me” and have both be true.
Alas, I am practiced enough to be comfortable with who I am. I am not the best– I teach the type of class I’d want to attend. What an opportunity: to remain true to what I love, do it for me, know that I both suck and rock and that this has little consequence on my truth.
I wish I was as confident in other areas of my life as I am with dance. Click to read Dancing Through Life.