LOVE

This is it.  This is your chance. 

Your chance to really start loving yourself.

It is likely that you weren’t loved exactly the way you needed or wanted to be growing up…

Imperfect world.  Imperfect parents.  Imperfect you.

I have done a lot of healing work: individual therapy, couple’s counseling, non-dual healing, coaching, prayer, dance, meditation.  And I am still struck by moments of deep-seated self-loathing.  Recently even, I became more aware of a buried belief I had been carrying around:  the idea that one or both of my parents really don’t love me (or even like me) and that I am not deserving of love.

Deep shit huh?  Especially if you have met either of my parents, you might wonder what the heck could she possibly be talking about?  And there is a part of you that knows exactly what I am talking about.  Even in the happiest of households, there were wounds inflicted, false messages internalized, problems personalized.

Now what?  How do you move from that dark place to love?

I have to admit, I was actually pissed off when I was first confronted with the notion that I am

Responsible for my feelings.

Responsible for taking care of myself.

Responsible for loving myself.

I was compelled to become what I wanted in the world. 

More open-hearted. 

More present.

More kind.

I can acknowledge and grow to accept the ways in which my imperfect upbringing didn’t always nurture my authenticity, my passion, my power.  And staying in shame or blame about it just isn’t going to work.  It is not going to get me what I am really wanting or needing- LOVE.

There’s no way to go back or change circumstances.  And there is certainly no taking back all the mistakes I made in searching for what was missing through other people.  A tough pill to swallow:  all roads lead back to self-love.

How are you gonna love yourself up today? 

When you take a moment to sit still and listen, what’s your heart saying?

What is waiting to be celebrated, acknowledged or affirmed about YOU?

xoxo E

Click here to read more about Healing.



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2 thoughts on “LOVE

  1. wow…… I feel you more than you know on EVERY part of this post, I identify with every feeling and believe what you write with regards to taking responsibility for the now… uuugh! ok I get the message!!!! thanks for the reminder.. it came RIGHT on time.. really…. :)

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