Resisting the Good

A couple of participants of the 2012 Self Care Challenge had mentioned feeling a little less motivated in the second week.  I am someone who knows first-hand how powerful these exercises can be, and still, I also find myself resisting a few of the daily practices.   I am too tired.  It’s not going to make that big of a difference.  I have other priorities.  I don’t feel like it…

It occurred to me that this might be my Inner Hatercropping up.  The resistance to change out of fear.  The voice that tries to protect us from the unknown.  The part of us that is neglectful and self-loathing.  We each have one, an Inner Hater.

So I am sharing this clip of an interview with Tara Mohr, author of 10 Rules for Brilliant Women, to perhaps help put our Inner Hater in check.  She explains how often the haterade shows up precisely when we are embarking on some major change…

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8 thoughts on “Resisting the Good

  1. Great! Sometimes it takes re-reading Inner Hater and re-watching Tara many times for the message to sink in. My inner hater so often dominates, but I’m learning to recognize her and begin to understand her motives. Funny, she’s so protective, she doesn’t even want me to post THIS!

  2. well kudos for posting it anyway! and i am glad you are reading and getting something from it. my inner hater often tells me that what i do doesn’t matter so much and that no one is really getting anything from it anyway… sigh.

    1. Yes, I love the way Tara concluded that Safey and Fulfillment are in tension and do not coincide. Who would have thought that? Your metaphor of offering compassion to the Inner critic/hater is beautiful! It is also liberating. Yes, my inner critic keeps saying that I am just not good enough at all my roles: Librarian, caregiver, sister, aunt, etc…

  3. Thanks for this Elo, I agree with rekha on how wise the notion that safety and fulfillment are not congruent…. I am struggling today with a case of the f*ck its. The trick with how my head works to sabotage me is around how much I always have to do and how tired I am, so can’t I just chill and watch tv, eat cake…I am tired!!! Everything feels like an uphill battle, can’t I just chill! Today I kept thinking about the alter ego exercise…and holding on to that notion of another me wanting to bloom…got me to turn of the tv and log on.

    1. Good way to start, Kenia. Once you turn off the tv, you can make headway. Do baby steps. do one task, then see if you are up to tackling the next one. Take a moment to look at the Saboteur in compassion and then let the Blossoming you emerge. My knees hurt and so I had to cut back on exercise today. I did a nice walk on the track. One step at a time… All the Best sister!

  4. I’m catching up on challenges…better late than never. This hits me hard. It’s my biggest struggle. Mostly my inner hater keeps me in the safe zone, but when I transform that hater into real critique, I think it helps me push myself to do something better. The challenge is getting out of the hater, do less, play it safe space, and into that other productive, risky place.

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